8 predictions for Apple’s WWDC keynote based on the invitation

Monday is Christmas for Apple fanboys. One of Apple’s biggest events, the World Wide Developer Conference is coming up next week. Apple’s Keynote during this event has historically unveiled many new Apple products and features, ranging from new iPhones and Macs to major iOS software updates and more. Rumors are right on schedule, flooding in this week as to what could potentially be on the agenda for Apple and what new amazing things we can expect to be revealed.

At Mockcrunch, we aren’t fooled. We know Apple has a history of giving little announcement clues with the event invitation. So we’re going to analyze the shit out of it. Here we go.

1. Hologram of Steve Jobs will, in fact, make an appearance.

We covered this rumor once already. But, this invitation clearly confirms it. Take a look at the transparency right in the middle of the apple logo. The squares make a point to reveal a lack of opacity. Apple is trying to tell us something. Transparency very much relates to the appearance of a holographic image. If we’re reading this correctly, we’ll see a resurrection of Steve Jobs in just a few days.

2. iPhone Nano is coming

Take a look at the squares inside the logo. You’ll notice that they are all scaled in different sizes. And, the squares look exactly like iOS app icons. The scaling icons represent multiple screen sizes. Right now, iOS apps have 2 scales – the iPhone/iPod Touch and iPad. Apple is clearly trying to tell us that they will be adding another screen size to their lineup of iOS products. And given the number of tiny squares, we are looking at a dead giveaway. iPhone Nano.

3. The iPhone 5 will be revealed.

Look at the date they chose to start with – the day of their keynote. June 11th. Interesting, I’d say. Let’s look back at June 11th in history. MS Dos 5.0 was released in 1991. 5.0. iPhone 5. In 1983 , “My Love” by Lionel Richie peaked at #5. People love Apple products. In 1905, Penns Railroad debuted the fastest train in world. Will Apple debut the fastest phone in the world? This is beginning to seem a little too obvious.

4. Apple will bring factory operations to the U.S.

It seems Apple is making a case for really emphasizing “in San Francisco”. Yet, they don’t tell you where the actual conference will be taking place. What help is it to know what city the event is in without knowing the conference’s address or venue? It’s not helpful. It’s a clue. After all the bad press Apple received about the conditions of their China-based factory, Foxconn and the disappointment people have shared for their factory outsourcing habits, Apple is trying to tell us that they want to be in San Francisco and are proud of it. Apple is indicating that they want their products to say Made in San Francisco. And they will. Soon.

5. Improved iOS calendar

This one is practically slapping us in the face. The conference is 5 days, yet Apple’s invitation refers to the length of this event as a “week”. They have decided to label 5 days as a week. This is a metaphor for our busy lives – never having enough time and the difficulties of keeping track of dates and schedules. We expect to see some innovation on the iOS calendar – or maybe something even more interesting.

6. Apple intends to further expand globally, reaching all remaining countries

The week we’ve all been waiting for. All defines entirety of humanity. No one is left out from “all”. We expect Apple to be making an announcement that they will be selling their products to every remaining country on this planet.

7. iOS will get a nice speed boost

Yes, our iPhones have kept us waiting. We’ve all been waiting while apps slowly launch and websites take their time to load. This is what we’ve all been waiting for. Faster iOS. It all makes sense.

8. Apple is lobbying for a Mitt Romney presidency

This one is more of a guess. But look closely – there is no space between WWDC and 2012. Ignore the first WW, you’ll see DC2012. Washington DC. Election year. Mitt’s full name is Willard Mitt Romney – the First W. The second either stands for “win” or “White House”. We’re not sure yet. But all signs point to a lobbying effort from Apple. This is a strange decision from such a liberal company.

There you have it folks. We’re about to see another big Apple event. There is lots on the horizon, from iPhones to Romnies. We’ll keep an eye out next week.